(Kr) You dream big. And by big, I mean lame.
(Ke) A teaser for the news literally said "How to look cool in a Corvette". The ratio of Mustangs to every other car is about 2-to-1 here. Maybe they should focus on how to look cool in that.
(Kr) Mustangs = moderately lame. Not gonna get much better than that. Phoenix has officially run out of stories. They should just cancel the news and play Golden Girls reruns.
(Ke) Golden Girls should be on every channel all day long. Except when Oprah is on. I'm hooked this season. Don't tell anyone.
(Kr) I just told everyone just now. They're all over here watching "Golden Girls".
(Ke) Oh. Thanks for the invite. I guess I'll just hang out here by myself.
(Kr) You have Oprah to watch. You got yourself into this situation.
(Ke) I just hope someone wrote in and told her what a great person I am and how I deserve to have my student loans paid off . . . ahem . . .
(Kr) I don't know how to write. And I'm still figuring out what kind of person you are. The kind that likes Oprah, so far. Tsk. Tsk.
(Ke) But it's the "Ultimate Dreams Come True". Just give me the word and I'll send you the list of my dreams. I'll act surprised.
(Kr) That word ain't comin'. Keep yo' dreams to yo' self. Dreams and wishes are meant to be stuffed way down deep in your soul until they die a blistery death.
(Ke) I always do. *sniff. I always do.
(Kr) What is Oprah teaching you?
(Ke) That she's too rich and needs to give away her money. And she wants to make people cry. I'm ready to cry. At any time.
(Kr) Did my dreams come true? Huh? Do I live inside the Karate Kid movie with Ralph Macchio? Am I a Goonie? Huh? Huh?!? Student loans? You used used to want to be Olivia Newton John. Now look at ya.
(Ke) It's time for new dreams. You had your shot. Now get on board with mine.
(Kr) It's just that they're so sad, your dreams. When you start wishing for cool shit like a house made out of Pudding Pops, I'll write that letter.
(Ke) She already gave that away today. No repeats.
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