Planned Parenthood

(Kr)  Never having had a baby, I have to say, if it's as hard as getting the perfect eyeliner wing, I'm out.

(Ke)  It's very similar challenge-wise but not nearly as stressful. Or time consuming. Or rewarding. 

(Kr)  I'm going to need 85% of my day for wing time, so that leaves 10% for a baby and 5% for miscellaneous/extra wing time. 

(Ke)  Time management is key so you're off to a great start. 

Waffle Waffling

(Kr)  Day 4 Of Back Injury Recovery. Status Report: Woke up. Had toaster waffle. Took Vicodin-induced nap. Woke up. Had two more waffles. Excitedly learned box is 8, not 6, waffles. Watched 5 and 1/2 episodes of Will & Grace. Thinking about next waffle. Monday ruled.
Suck it, Garfield.

(Ke)  Craving waffles I don't have at 2 am has thrown me into a jealous rage I'm not proud of.

(Kr)  My butter intake over the last 24 hours has got to be record shattering. I won't be seeing the outside world for a few days.  I'll sleep off the newly acquired fat.  Lego my ego, homie. Ya know?

(Ke)  Seems like a solid use of recovery time. How much until you're up and back to civilian life?

(Kr) Few more days.

(Ke)  So it's the spinal countdown, I guess.

(Kr)  Oh, boy. Goodbye.

The Opposite Sex

(Kr)  Add James Spader to the list of men turning into chubby middle-aged women.

(Ke)  Also on the roster: John Travolta, Val Kilmer, and, ironically, Chaz Bono. 

(Kr)  William Shatner, Tony Curtis. 

  

(Ke)  They are the grandmothers of this motley crue. 

(Kr)  Speaking of, Vince Neil.

(Ke)  Warren Beatty. Was sad to see that turn of events. 

(Kr)  New category: Skinny Middle-aged women: Paul McCartney, Mick Jagger.

(Ke)  New sub-category: Men Who Used To Be Chubby But Now Look Scary Skinny Middle-aged Women: Tom Arnold. 

(Kr)  Whatever category this would fall under:

(Ke)  Chevy Chase

(Kr)  Bill Clinton was getting there but did a serious about-face. 

(Ke)  Jay Leno

(Kr)  Star Jones

(Ke)  Dang!

(Kr)  Tom Jones

(Ke)  If we're doing a Vegas category: Wayne Newton, David Copperfield, Carrot Top!

(Kr)  Elton John, but I'm pretty sure that's intentional.

(Ke)  Tom Cruise is on my wish list. 

(Kr)  I don't know where Mickey Rourke falls but it ain't good.