A Whole Latte Of Crappuccino

(Ke)  Just got the kids to sleep. Celebrating the moments of my life with a cup of General Foods International Coffee. 

(Kr)  Ahhhh, hands on either side of the cup. Gently blowing the steam. Enjoying that mediocre flavor. 

(Ke)  I'm all

but if you were here we'd be all

(Kr)  I'd be leaning on you because I need your assistance enjoying the moments of my life. 

(Ke)  It's actually because you're about to puke after drinking this

(Kr)  Orange should never be the flavor of anything other than an orange. 

(Ke)  And now you're not invited to drink coffee drinks from 1988, smile and get food poisoning with me anymore. 

(Kr)  Fine. I won't invite you over for grape lattes. 

(Ke)  Fine!  Great, now I'm craving a grape latte! You're the worse coffee companion ever!

Bar Fly

(Ke)

He's going to feel this in the morning. Luckily he won't remember what happened. I wish I could say the same, but the bastard contaminated my only possibility of that.

(Kr)  Gettin' his buzzzzzz on.
My apologies.

Barefoot In The Parking Lot

(Ke) Target picked the wrong day to be so efficient with its cart corralling and I picked the wrong day not to put shoes on Bronx.

(Kr) I thought the story of Target having cart people was a mythical legend told by people lying about finding a cart in the actual store. And why are you Oliver Twist-ing Bronx?

(Ke) If he's going to live in Arizona he needs to toughen up his feet. If walking on hot concrete carrying his sister in her carseat to get a cart while I wait in the air conditioned car doesn't work, I don't know what will.