(Ke) I've officially added Pizza Hut to my contacts. At first I entered it Pizza Hug. It felt appropriate.
(Kr) Did you just order a hug?
(Ke) I did. I needed it.
Tuesday, December 20, 2011
Monday, December 19, 2011
People. People Who Read People
(Kr) Just so you know, it's official. It's going to be the sexiest awards season EVER!
(Ke) Who promised the sexiness?
(Kr) People mag. The bible to all worshippers of nonsense. Such as myself.
(Ke) Praise People.
(Kr) When I lose faith and I can't seen to make sense of it all, People is there for me. It answers the burning questions like will Kim Kardashian believe in love again and who did George Clooney prank on the set? And once a year, when I need the big question answered, they hold up the eternal light and tell me who the sexiest man alive is. It's how I find my center.
(Ke) Your nougaty, nutty center.
(Ke) Who promised the sexiness?
(Kr) People mag. The bible to all worshippers of nonsense. Such as myself.
(Ke) Praise People.
(Kr) When I lose faith and I can't seen to make sense of it all, People is there for me. It answers the burning questions like will Kim Kardashian believe in love again and who did George Clooney prank on the set? And once a year, when I need the big question answered, they hold up the eternal light and tell me who the sexiest man alive is. It's how I find my center.
(Ke) Your nougaty, nutty center.
Blood Chocahol Level
(Ke) A hot chocolate a day keeps the doctor away. That's how it goes, right?
(Kr) I think it goes a hot chocolate a day keeps your skinny jeans away. But that's just my personal experience.
(Ke) I'm just wondering what percentage of my daily calories can come solely from hot chocolate without being considered malnourished. Or dead.
(Kr) I think if you did 3 a day and a half chicken breast spread out over the day you'd be fine.
(Ke) Phew. I'm pretty sure whip cream adds all the essential vitamins and minerals, too, so I'm good.
(Kr) I think it goes a hot chocolate a day keeps your skinny jeans away. But that's just my personal experience.
(Ke) I'm just wondering what percentage of my daily calories can come solely from hot chocolate without being considered malnourished. Or dead.
(Kr) I think if you did 3 a day and a half chicken breast spread out over the day you'd be fine.
(Ke) Phew. I'm pretty sure whip cream adds all the essential vitamins and minerals, too, so I'm good.
Tuesday, December 6, 2011
I Wood Love The Pasta Please
(Kr) I'm sitting at a bar listening to a woman talk about her ailments and fasting to "jump start" herself. Ugh.
(Ke) I'm assuming the fast consists of a gallon jug of wine.
(Kr) I think it's a fun fast.
(Ke) Wonderful. Best of luck to her. Is she on the phone? That's the most fun to listen to.
(Kr) Nope. Talking to another fun faster.
(Ke) Where are you enjoying this conversation?
(Kr) Gordon Biersch. I enjoyed a chicken pasta with just the right amount of toothpick in it.
(Ke) Free pasta!
(Kr) They brought me a new one, but I hadn't met my wood intake for the day, so it was fine.
(Ke) You didn't have any shredded cheese I take it?
(Kr) Oh yeah. Dang! Double wood intake.
(Ke) I'm assuming the fast consists of a gallon jug of wine.
(Kr) I think it's a fun fast.
(Ke) Wonderful. Best of luck to her. Is she on the phone? That's the most fun to listen to.
(Kr) Nope. Talking to another fun faster.
(Ke) Where are you enjoying this conversation?
(Kr) Gordon Biersch. I enjoyed a chicken pasta with just the right amount of toothpick in it.
(Ke) Free pasta!
(Kr) They brought me a new one, but I hadn't met my wood intake for the day, so it was fine.
(Ke) You didn't have any shredded cheese I take it?
(Kr) Oh yeah. Dang! Double wood intake.
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