(Ke) You know when you're so full you can't breathe?
(Kr) Yes ma'am.
(Ke) That's how I feel. All the time.
(Kr) How can I help?
(Ke) Do you have any forceps?
(Kr) Should I talk about a giant cheese stuffed-crust pizza with taco meat?
(Ke) Making me sick won't help.
(Kr) Maybe you'll barf out the baby.
(Ke) You clearly need to google "childbirth".
(Kr) Don't be condescending. I know what happens. The stork brings you a large stuffed-crust pizza and forces you to eat it. Then you barf and your baby sails out on a river of cheese, sauce and bread. In a boat made of taco meat.
(Ke) You've been watching Puff The Magic Dragon again, haven't you?
(Kr) It's just so inspiring and sad.
(Ke) It has heavily influenced your life and, unfortunately, your thought process.
(Kr) What thought process?
(Ke) Poor Kreets.
(Kr) It's tough, yet insanely easy to be me.
(Ke) My sister, Jackie Paper.
(Kr) You wanna know the saddest part?
(Ke) Kinda . . .
(Kr) I've been watching The Bachelor throughout this entire conversation.
(Ke) Of course you have.
(Kr) And I enjoyed it.
(Ke) Because you weren't giving it your full attention?
(Kr) I memorized names. I got invested.
(Ke) This disappoints me . . . every season.
(Kr) I almosted set a series recording and then Gossip Girl came on. Phew?'n
(Kr) !
(Ke) Your mind is on The Bachelor when it should be on proper punctuation.
(Kr) Shit. It's a re-run. I'm screwed. Oh, wait. It's new! Bajam!
(Ke) I'm glad we don't share a t.v.
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