Picture Imperfect

(Ke)  Monday:  court.  Tuesday:  social security office.  Today:  DMV.  Please don't envy me.  There is a woman sitting next to me who is talking to the guy across from her.  It seems like they are divorced and she just keeps talking at him.  He could not be more disinterested, which makes two of us, but it doesn't remotely bother her.  She will talk to him about anything:  making grilled cheese, the fact that she drinks tea now instead of coffee.  She's talking to him like he's her best friend and he just shakes his head.  I wish I could take a video.  This dynamic is something to behold.  He could tell  her to fuck off and she would just tell him what movie she watched last night.  Nothing upsets or offends her.  Now the kid on the other side of me is singing Yiddish songs at an inappropriate volume.

(Kr)  What?!  I do envy you.  On a different note, Vanessa Hudgens is pretty, but all I can think about is diapers when I see her.  Hudgens reminds me of Huggies which leads me to diapers.  Vanessa Diapers.

(Ke)  On a related note, Zac Efron is single.

(Kr)  On a semi-related note, I'm hungry.  Zac Efron is yummy and I like yummy things, which reminded me I'm hungry.  Bam!  Semi-related.   On another semi-related note, I dislike using the word yummy to describe people.  I'm ashamed.  I wish I could eat my shame.  I'd be super duper full.

(Ke)  Well, I'll let it slide although I'm pretty ashamed, too.  Back to the original topic, I am not excited that I had to get a new picture for my driver license.

(Kr)  Because you're fat...I mean, pregnant?  Wink, wink Martindale.

(Ke)  Did not do my hair.  No makeup.  Not cool.

(Kr)  You've had many years of unreasonably pretty ID pictures.  Time to join the rest of us.  Pull it together, Kirby.

(Ke)  Oh, well.  It'll expire in 39 years.

(Kr)  39 years?

(Ke)  Sorry, 29.

(Kr)  Oh, tooooooootally different.  You won't even be able to drive then.  Or see.  Or walk.  Or eat on your own.  I just depressed myself when I remembered we were twins.

(Ke)  The age joke backfire.

(Kr)  We'll still be rockin' that clutch, or something cool like that that only cool people would say.

(Ke)  I don't get the new picture requirement.  I'm not a different person than I was a year ago.  "I'm sorry, this picture doesn't accurately represent you since you changed your name."

(Kr)  That is obnoxious.  Did you arm wrestle the DMV clerk?  That usually works.