Full Court (Im)Press(ed)

(Ke)  I'm going to court today to get me first name legally changed.

(Kr)  Me name?  Are you a leprechaun?

(Ke)  I'm changing it to Shamus O'Donnell McIrish so I'll let you be the judge.  That's just the first name.  The Rae Lanphear will remain intact.

(Kr)  No Cassidy?

(Ke)  That comes next.  Haven't you ever heard the saying "First names first and last names last"?  It applies here.

(Kr)  If you're going to legally change the spelling of your first name why not change it altogether to Facesmasher Rae Lanphear or The Awesomeness Rae Lanphear?  This is your chance and you're, quite frankly, blowing it.

(Ke)  Where were you when I filed the petition 2 months ago?

(Kr)  Where I always am:  just hangin' out and bein' cool.

(Ke)  With suggestions like that I have no choice but to believe it.

(Kr)  Look, I'm just doin' what I do man.  Ya dig?

(Ke)  You went too far.  You know it.  I know it.  I'm trying to figure out what to wear.  What will say "do not even think about denying me my name change or I will cry in the middle of this courtroom" to the judge?

(Kr)  Pajamas with a top hat.  It says you're laid back with an air of sophistication.  You want him/her to take you seriously, right, Facesmasher?

(Ke)  I'm glad I asked.  I had on a pencil skirt with a sports bra.

(Kr)  Crisis averted.  You would have looked like a fool.  A real fool.

(Ke)  That outfit is more for a DUI hearing.  What was I thinking?

At the courthouse.....
(Ke)   I was so excited when there were only 4 of us here then all the laties walked in.  I might be here long enough for a costume change.

(Kr)  Dang!  You should have brought the sports bra.  Sporty and sophistication might have gotten you to the top of the list.

(Ke)  Maybe they'll take mercy on the pregnant lady and let me go first.

(Kr)  The court takes mercy on nobody!  I take nap now.

(Ke)  I might, too.  No one will notice.  The good news is I now know way too much about the people sitting next to and in front of me.

(Kr)  That's good news?

An hour later....
(Ke)  And we done.

(Kr)  Cool.  What'd you go with?

(Ke)  Kirby Rae Lanphear, after the Honorable Kirby Kongable.  He's my new hero.  He gets shit done in the courtroom.

(Kr)  Good to know ya, Kirbster.  I'm assuming that's the nickname we're going with?

(Ke)  I haven't thought too much about it but I think you nailed it.  Spread it around.

(Kr)  You haven't thought about it much?  You pick an awesome name like Kirby and you don't even consider the nicknames?  You're not worthy of the name.  How dare you?

(Ke)  The only ones that initially came to mind were Kick It To The Kirb, Kirbirator, Kirb Side Pick-up, and Kirbmeister.  Kirb Appeal is also in the running.  Other than that nicknames really didn't cross my mind.

(Kr)  Amateur.  I'm taking you back to that court and demanding you change your name back.

(Ke)  What is done can not be undone...unless you want to shell out $300.  Then it's no problem.

(Kr)  You're out of order.  This whole name change is out of order.  This whole court's out of order!

(Ke)  You're a chip off the ol' Kongable block.  That gavel I got you for Christmas is actually going to come in handy.