(Ke) I got halfway through my yogurt and realized, oh yeah. That's expired. Hey, Fage, how about putting the expiration date on any other part of the package except the part that gets thrown away?
(Kr) How'd you realize it was expired? Green-ness?
(Ke) I kept smelling something mildewy and thought it was my hands from washing dishes. It wasn't.
(Kr) I wish in my heart of hearts I hadn't asked you. And that, especially, you hadn't answered.
(Ke) I don't have enough vomit to feel sick for the both of us.
Thursday, October 27, 2011
Egg On My Face
(Kr) What doing?
(Ke)
Oh, just this.
(Kr) Looks about right.
(Ke) I wanted to see if my counters were clean enough to eat off but I forgot to cook it first. Rookie mistake.
(Ke)
Oh, just this.
(Kr) Looks about right.
(Ke) I wanted to see if my counters were clean enough to eat off but I forgot to cook it first. Rookie mistake.
Sensei Says!
(Ke) We are getting closer and closer to getting almost started on the plans for the bathroom.
(Kr) Vague plans are the best plan.
(Ke) I've found it the best way to get nothing done.
(Kr) Doing nothing and getting nothing is way better than working really hard for something and not getting what you want. It's an old Chinese proverb. Don't even bother looking it up. It's super old. You'll never find it.
(Kr) Vague plans are the best plan.
(Ke) I've found it the best way to get nothing done.
(Kr) Doing nothing and getting nothing is way better than working really hard for something and not getting what you want. It's an old Chinese proverb. Don't even bother looking it up. It's super old. You'll never find it.
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
Cleave Me Alone
(Kr) Trend alert: Side cleavage. Why must I look at you, US Weekly? You're melting my soul.
(Ke) I'm familiar with side boob but not side cleavage. How does one differentiate?
(Kr) It's exactly the same. They're just trying to make it sound like it's what cool kids are doing. I've been accidentally cool on a few occasions.
(Ke) I'm familiar with side boob but not side cleavage. How does one differentiate?
(Kr) It's exactly the same. They're just trying to make it sound like it's what cool kids are doing. I've been accidentally cool on a few occasions.
Joelliptical
(Kr) Is Joey on the elliptical?
(Ke) That's just freaky.
(Kr) That's just Joe. I know my Joe.
(Ke) I do find myself falling under his spell.
(Kr) It's not tough to do. I mean, he owns AND uses his own elliptical. Most people use them to hang their clothes on like a gigantic expensive hanger. I could talk about Joe and fitness all night. But, I'm choosing not to. Night night. Kiss Bronxy for me. Love you.
(Ke) We'll talk about it all day tomorrow. Love you.
(Ke) That's just freaky.
(Kr) That's just Joe. I know my Joe.
(Ke) I do find myself falling under his spell.
(Kr) It's not tough to do. I mean, he owns AND uses his own elliptical. Most people use them to hang their clothes on like a gigantic expensive hanger. I could talk about Joe and fitness all night. But, I'm choosing not to. Night night. Kiss Bronxy for me. Love you.
(Ke) We'll talk about it all day tomorrow. Love you.
Monday, October 24, 2011
Kardashed Hopes And Dreams
(Kr) I'm watching Kardashian True Hollywood Story. Should I just quit life now?
(Ke) It's just on in the background and you can't get to the remote, right?
(Kr) Yeah. Sure.
(Ke) It's just on in the background and you can't get to the remote, right?
(Kr) Yeah. Sure.
Puss In Running Shoes
(Kr) I have to stupid work out. Did you work outs?
(Ke) I went for a walk this morning. Nothing to brag about.
(Kr) I'm going to attempt to jog up the hills. It's either going to feel rewarding or like dying a slow humiliating death.
(Ke) Let me know if it's the former. If it's the latter I'll find out eventually.
(Kr) Sure will. Get the eulogy ready. Zoiks! Flatlining.
(Ke) I'm honored to be your last text, rather than you calling 911.
(Kr) Today is the first day I've run in over a year. I feel like crying I'm so proud of myself. And I ran hills. And did lunges between sets.
(Ke) Go ahead and cry. Let it out. But not too hard. It sounds like you can't spare the oxygen.
(Kr) I'll be in wheelchair tomorrow. But pride will be flowing through my debilitated legs. There was definitely a chunky cat sitting on my chest. I could hear it purring, "you're going to meowing die! Meeeeeeeeowhahahahahahaha!".
(Ke) You really showed that chest cat by not dying. Stupid morbid cat.
(Kr) I never do what cats tell me to do. Ever.
(Ke) I went for a walk this morning. Nothing to brag about.
(Kr) I'm going to attempt to jog up the hills. It's either going to feel rewarding or like dying a slow humiliating death.
(Ke) Let me know if it's the former. If it's the latter I'll find out eventually.
(Kr) Sure will. Get the eulogy ready. Zoiks! Flatlining.
(Ke) I'm honored to be your last text, rather than you calling 911.
(Kr) Today is the first day I've run in over a year. I feel like crying I'm so proud of myself. And I ran hills. And did lunges between sets.
(Ke) Go ahead and cry. Let it out. But not too hard. It sounds like you can't spare the oxygen.
(Kr) I'll be in wheelchair tomorrow. But pride will be flowing through my debilitated legs. There was definitely a chunky cat sitting on my chest. I could hear it purring, "you're going to meowing die! Meeeeeeeeowhahahahahahaha!".
(Ke) You really showed that chest cat by not dying. Stupid morbid cat.
(Kr) I never do what cats tell me to do. Ever.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)