(Ke) What doing?
(Kr) Oh, just feeling like a car hit me.
(Ke) Why?
(Kr) 'Cause a car hit me.
(Ke) When you got rear ended?
(Kr) Yep. Sore. Should have skipped work yesterday. But you know me and my work ethic. I just can't stop working. Except when I'm napping. Which I also can't stop doing.
(Ke) Your commitment to resting is unparalleled.
(Kr) You've met Marc, right? He's set records in relaxation. I sometimes have to put a mirror under his nose. Mostly just to look at his nose hairs but seeing he's still alive is a bonus.
(Ke) Just make sure there's no coke on it.
(Kr) Diet Coke.
Thursday, September 30, 2010
Hug It Out
(Ke) Major crisis!! What am I going to do without my hug pillow for 5 days while we're in Vegas?
(Kr) Bring it with you. And for god sakes, stop whining.
(Ke) It's huge and never.
(Kr) Bring it with you. And for god sakes, stop whining.
(Ke) It's huge and never.
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Frosty The Nose Air
(Kr) 3 a.m. I Woke myself up by breathing cold nose air onto my hand. Yes, nose air is cold.
The Holey Child
(Ke) We're standing outside Claire's watching a baby get her ears pierced through the window. Just waiting for the scream. There it is. I'm not gonna lie, I teared up a little. Poor unsuspecting baby.
(Kr) Been looking at apartments all day. I'd rather be a baby getting my tongue pierced.
(Kr) Been looking at apartments all day. I'd rather be a baby getting my tongue pierced.
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Unexpected Situation
(Kr) Are you watching Glee?
(Ke) No. DWTS.
(Kr) Guess you're better than me. Except for all the ways I'm better than you.
(Ke) Do you think it could possibly make me like The Situation? I need him to stay around a while. He's just on the cusp of me not hating him.
(Kr) You need help. Real help.
(Ke) And some fake help.
(Kr) What's making you like him? Do his abs do charity work?
(Ke) For one, he's not surrounded by the cast of Jersey Shore. That's appealing.
(Kr) I'll punch a Snookie.
(Ke) She's punchable. He's almost adorable. I did not see that coming.
(Ke) No. DWTS.
(Kr) Guess you're better than me. Except for all the ways I'm better than you.
(Ke) Do you think it could possibly make me like The Situation? I need him to stay around a while. He's just on the cusp of me not hating him.
(Kr) You need help. Real help.
(Ke) And some fake help.
(Kr) What's making you like him? Do his abs do charity work?
(Ke) For one, he's not surrounded by the cast of Jersey Shore. That's appealing.
(Kr) I'll punch a Snookie.
(Ke) She's punchable. He's almost adorable. I did not see that coming.
Thursday, September 23, 2010
It's Gallo:30 Somewhere
(Ke) An old guy with a tiny bottle of Gallo Chardonnay with a twist top just cut in front of me at Circle K. Something tells me it wasn't his first of the day.
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