Socks It To Me

(Ke)  Joe was putting Bronx's socks on and said, "I hate putting on his socks", to which I responded, "You better get used to it.  You're going to be doing it the rest of your life."  He said, "Um, no I won't."  I was getting annoyed then realized he's right.  I guess at some point he will be able to put his own socks on.

(Kr)  You guys are having quite the Bronx socks day.  You only have to pay for him and his socks for the rest of your lives.  He'll be able to put them on himself in a couple of years.

(Ke)  Not necessarily.  I need to read up on child labor laws.

Cat(theter) Fight

(Kr)  Wanna Skype later?  9:30ish?

(Ke)  Can you do earlier?  Bronx will probably be in bed.

(Kr)  Not home until then.

(Ke)  Where are you going that's so cool?

(Kr)  At Wokano.

(Ke)  Auntie Jess wants to Skype, too.  He's very popular.

(Kr)  Guess so.  Put us on the list.

(Ke)  Ok, let me know when you're home and I'll see if he's available.

(Kr)  Marc wants to try out Skype on his new tablet thingy.  So, if Bronx is asleep, maybe we can Skype you and Joey.

(Ke)  Ok, I should probably be awake.  I can't promise anything for Joe.  Are you having that delicious salad without me?

(Kr)  Yes.  I did.

(Ke)  Not cool.

(Kr)  Good news is, there will be plenty at the party next weekend.

(Ke)  I'm going to sit in the corner and eat it without you.

(Kr)  I'll sit in the opposite corner and eat it without you so meh.

(Ke)  Whatever. I'll be eating two wontons.  I don't need you.

(Kr)  Oh, wontons?  I just had six.  Booyaw!!

(Ke)  He's asleep.

(Kr)  Ok.  You still wanna Skype?

(Ke)  Sure.

(Kr)  Marc just wants to check out his tablet.

(Ke)  I don't need an explanation again.

(Kr)  Shove it up your dick.

(Ke)  Not again.

Reach For The Fallen Stars

(Kr)  My day so far: woke up at 11, at some Greek yogurt and blueberries in bed, watched Have You Heard About the Morgans, fell bank asleep until 5.

(Ke)  Don't forget spelling "back" wrong.

(Kr)  I don't think there's any fear of me overachieving today.  Or achieving.

(Ke)  It doesn't sound like you're even underachieving.  Under, underachieving at best.

Alley Oops, I Can't Fix This Text

(Ke)  Our garbage pail kid.

(Kr)  That's disturbing, but he's in prime alley oop position, so respect to your and yours.

(Ke)  He's out little Kobe Bryant.  He He's prime scraps.  I don't have any idea what I was trying to say there.  Autocorrect took that sentence somewhere it can't come back from.

Must(ard) You?

(Ke)  I was so tempted to send you a picture of Bronx's diarrhea.  Haha.  That was the best auto correct ever.  I meant diaper.  It literally looked like a whole bottle of French's yellow mustard exploded in it.

(Kr)  It's almost like you're trying to sabotage my appetite forever.

Silly Retort(oise)

(Ke)  How?

(Kr)  Maybe it's a family of tortoises. 

(Ke)  It's probably still in the house.  Save your money.  Look harder. 

Wiigin' Out

(Ke)  Hi, Kreets.  Just watched Bridesmaids.  Hilarity.

(Kr)  Oh, hello.  I was hoping it wouldn't suck.

(Ke)  Joe is going on and on about his Kristin Wiig crush.

(Kr)  Uh oh.  What about Kesha?

(Ke)  Who?

(Kr)  Oops.  Ke$ha.

(Ke)  Oh, her.  I guess he moved on because he just hasn't heard a song from her lately.

(Kr)  He's finicky.

(Ke)  Just forgetful.