Bieber Fingers

(Kr)  What doing?  I need to discuss something of urgent importance.

(Ke)  Going to meet Vicki.

(Kr)  But it involves Justin Bieber.

(Ke)  I'm available.

(Kr)  He is going to have a line of nail polish sold exclusively at Wal-Mart with colors named after all of his songs.  And he has a book coming out with, not one, but TWO colons in the title.  Also in the title the number 2 used as the word "to".  Ya know, all I ask for is a little peace on a Sunday morning. And now this?  Why?  WHY??

(Ke)  When you said urgent and important I had no idea it would need to become a top priority.  This is critical.  Be more clear!

(Kr)  If my day starts with this knowledge, so should yours.  Mull it over.  I have 2 go back 2 sleep now.  I hope to feel better about this 2morrow.

(Ke)  I have news, too.  I don't know if I should tell you in this delicate state but it's a burden I don't think I can carry alone.

(Kr)  Well, I'm already awake.  This Bieber stuff shook me to my core.  May as well pile it on.

(Ke)  He may host a new version of Punk'd.

(Kr)  I don't know what upsets me more; that he's hosting it or that they are actually considering remaking that show.  Are we already remaking shows from 5 years ago?  Kutcher has his hand in this.  I can smell it.

(Ke)  You should be horrified by both.  There's no doubt he does.  I pray he makes a cameo.  The world is ready once again for Mr. Kutcher's arrogant attempt at being humorous.

(Kr)  I'm not ready.  I need a 10 year re-set window.  It's only fair.  Especially since he's been making movies in the meantime.  I need to try and forget all this is happening.  I'm going to close my eyes, focus, and go to my happy place:  a black jack table at Treasure Island.  Just me, my endless amount of chips, my mediocre glass of casino wine, the dealer and the happy people at my table:  Gordon from Memphis in town for a convention.  And Julie and Kevin from Tampa.  It's their first time in Vegas and they just can't seem to stop winning.  None of us can.  Oh, happy place.  I adore you and your non-Kutcher/Bieberness.

(Ke)  Sleep tight, Kreets.  Sleep tight.  Don't let the Bieber bugs bite.