(Ke) If nothing else, at least Prince Michael inherited his father's creepy facial hair.
(Kr) Noooooooo.
(Ke) If you watched Oprah you would know these things. I can't be held responsible for keeping you up to date on Michael Jackson's kids. Set. Your. DVR.
(Kr) One of our DVRs isn't recording. How can I be expected to record daily programs with one DVR? My Datelines won't fit.
(Ke) If they're older than 2 years, it's time to get rid of them.
(Kr) Don't tell me how to save my Datelines! It's all I know.
(Ke) You are also pretty familiar with how to save 48 Hour Mystery.
(Kr) Oh, I watch those immediately. I'm not a novice.
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Monday, November 29, 2010
Saint Emilio's Fire
(Kr) We can agree that Charlie Sheen is super gross, right?
(Ke) I'd be willing to add a duper to that. I feel obligated.
(Kr) He needs his brain washed out with soap. And his soul.
(Ke) I never thought I'd say this, but I miss Emilio.
(Ke) I'd be willing to add a duper to that. I feel obligated.
(Kr) He needs his brain washed out with soap. And his soul.
(Ke) I never thought I'd say this, but I miss Emilio.
The Thousand Dollar Question
(Kr) I have to ask you a very serious question. A lot is riding on your answer.
(Ke) Yes, I just peed my pants. What else could you possibly want to know?
(Kr) I already knew that. You may want to sit down. This is life altering.
(Ke) I'm on the toilet in case it gets really bad or funny or makes me sneeze.
(Kr) Do you think there is any chance . . even the smallest itty bitty chance . . . that we could go to the NKOTBSB concert when they tour in 2011?
(Ke) You already know the answer to that. I'll get a baby sitter . . . for the baby and Joe.
(Kr) I think we should go to Vegas and go.
(Ke) When?
(Kr) Ok, I don't see a Vegas date, but they're playing Staples in June. Friday, July 1st. Tickets range in price from $77.00-$3,772.00, so that makes sense. Just bought tickets. You owe me $3,000.00.
(Ke) No problem.
(Kr) I'll take the money in nickels and $2 bills.
(Ke) You know I pay all my debts in Susan B Anthony dollars.
(Kr) It's looking like it's going to be more like $7,999.00 after taxes and Ticketmaster fees.
(Ke) Pocket change. For someone. Not for me.
(Ke) Yes, I just peed my pants. What else could you possibly want to know?
(Kr) I already knew that. You may want to sit down. This is life altering.
(Ke) I'm on the toilet in case it gets really bad or funny or makes me sneeze.
(Kr) Do you think there is any chance . . even the smallest itty bitty chance . . . that we could go to the NKOTBSB concert when they tour in 2011?
(Ke) You already know the answer to that. I'll get a baby sitter . . . for the baby and Joe.
(Kr) I think we should go to Vegas and go.
(Ke) When?
(Kr) Ok, I don't see a Vegas date, but they're playing Staples in June. Friday, July 1st. Tickets range in price from $77.00-$3,772.00, so that makes sense. Just bought tickets. You owe me $3,000.00.
(Ke) No problem.
(Kr) I'll take the money in nickels and $2 bills.
(Ke) You know I pay all my debts in Susan B Anthony dollars.
(Kr) It's looking like it's going to be more like $7,999.00 after taxes and Ticketmaster fees.
(Ke) Pocket change. For someone. Not for me.
Friday, November 26, 2010
I've Had The Time Of My Life Again
(Ke) I have a dilemma.
(Kr) Yes?
(Ke) Should I watch Dirty Dancing for the third time in a month?
(Kr) I'm ashamed of you. Yes! Hell yes! And I'll just keep It's Complicated on a loop in your honor.
(Ke) I knew I could count on you.
(Kr) Yes?
(Ke) Should I watch Dirty Dancing for the third time in a month?
(Kr) I'm ashamed of you. Yes! Hell yes! And I'll just keep It's Complicated on a loop in your honor.
(Ke) I knew I could count on you.
BDSP3L1NG
(Ke) I feel very strongly that if you don't have access to the appropriate letters you shouldn't get personalized license plates. Sokrmom? Gruuvy? Stop it!
(Kr) Finally, a passion we both share.
(Kr) Finally, a passion we both share.
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
Philosoph. . hiccup. . al
(Kr) Marc and I were just discussing what a Nietzsche niche would be. That's what too many margaritas will do.
(Ke) Too margie manaritas.
(Ke) Too margie manaritas.
Two Boy Bands Are Better Than One
(Kr) Now shhhhhhh. You're distracting me from my NKOTB/BSB mash up.
(Ke) Ooooooohhhh. I wants.
(Kr) Yep. The Jordan Knight crush is back on. Damn!
(Ke) Did it really ever fade?
(Kr) The whole thing reeks of desperation yet I'm enthralled. Except their combining their name to NKOTBSB. And including it in a song. Not on board. Were they off key at times? Yes. Do I forgive them? Mostly.
(Ke) Where are you seeing this and why am I so jealous?
(Kr) Because I'm awesome and you're bored.
(Ke) Bored old housewife. That's me. Well, in three weeks when this work nonsense is finished.
(Kr) Look it up on the internet. It's bound to already be up there. I've watch it twice already.
(Ke) www.nkotbsb.reunion....again.us.gov.com
(Kr) Oh, I see. You're jealous so you're mocking me with fake websites. Step 1: Not talk to you anymore. Step 2:.....that's all I got
(Ke) The website's real. It's just not live yet. Give me a minute. Jeesh.
(Kr) Donnie Wahlberg isn't even remotely ashamed. Not in the least.
(Ke) What about the cousin who's name nobody knows or cares about?
(Kr) You mean Johnathan? He's the brother. And he looks a little ashamed.
(Ke) I'm pretty sure he's the cousin. I really hope I'm wrong. I hate Johnathan with a "John", even though it makes total sense.
(Kr) You hate Johnathan with a "John"?
(Ke) It should be Jonathan. You thought I wrote the wrong word, didn't you? The other "h" has no business in there.
(Kr) I did. To be honest you should have just said with two "H"s. You made it awkward. Come on NSYNC. Get on board.
(Ke) And what does 98 Degrees have to say about all this?
(Kr) Nobody consulted 98 Degrees or even remembers they existed.
(Ke) I am racking my brain and literally can't think of one 98 Degrees song. Did they exist?
(Kr) I can see the video. They're on a bridge. Or near a bridge. Or singing about a bridge.
(Ke) Did they jump off the bridge? Now all I can think about is Ellen K saying "Dees Grees" when giving the weather on the Rick Dees show.
(Kr) UGH. You jerk. Now that's in my head. I hope they next person you come in contact with is a JoHnathan. And he keeps signing things just to annoy you.
(Ke) I wouldn't let that happen. Ever. I can sniff them out. I guess I have acid reflux now. Yay!
(Kr) Did it text it to you?
(Ke) Don't steal my impending joke. That shit pisses me off.
(Kr) Did it die?
(Ke) I saved it. I'm kind of a hero.
(Kr) Well, put your cape on and go to bed. Oh, you said hero. Not superhero. I don't know what plain heroes wear.
(Ke) The only pair of jeans that still fit. Every day.
(Kr) Seven months pregnant and you can still fit into jeans and you're complaining. Life is so rough, skinny pregnant lady.
(Ke) Am I an asshole?
(Kr) No. Just very ungrateful for not being a fat, sloppy, pregnant woman. Asshole is strong. Selfish jerk is more appropriate. I don't fit into jeans from last year and guess what? No baby.
(Ke) Move over Johnathan. Make room for me on the ashamed bus.
(Kr) You're the driver.
(Ke) Ok. I get it. Jeesh.
(Kr) I go night night now.
(Ke) Me, too, if the guilt doesn't keep me awake. Nah, I'm good.
(Kr) You should stay up all night and think about your actions.
(Ke) Love you, Kreets.
(Kr) Love you, selfish jean wearing pregnant lady.
(Ke) Ooooooohhhh. I wants.
(Kr) Yep. The Jordan Knight crush is back on. Damn!
(Ke) Did it really ever fade?
(Kr) The whole thing reeks of desperation yet I'm enthralled. Except their combining their name to NKOTBSB. And including it in a song. Not on board. Were they off key at times? Yes. Do I forgive them? Mostly.
(Ke) Where are you seeing this and why am I so jealous?
(Kr) Because I'm awesome and you're bored.
(Ke) Bored old housewife. That's me. Well, in three weeks when this work nonsense is finished.
(Kr) Look it up on the internet. It's bound to already be up there. I've watch it twice already.
(Ke) www.nkotbsb.reunion....again.us.gov.com
(Kr) Oh, I see. You're jealous so you're mocking me with fake websites. Step 1: Not talk to you anymore. Step 2:.....that's all I got
(Ke) The website's real. It's just not live yet. Give me a minute. Jeesh.
(Kr) Donnie Wahlberg isn't even remotely ashamed. Not in the least.
(Ke) What about the cousin who's name nobody knows or cares about?
(Kr) You mean Johnathan? He's the brother. And he looks a little ashamed.
(Ke) I'm pretty sure he's the cousin. I really hope I'm wrong. I hate Johnathan with a "John", even though it makes total sense.
(Kr) You hate Johnathan with a "John"?
(Ke) It should be Jonathan. You thought I wrote the wrong word, didn't you? The other "h" has no business in there.
(Kr) I did. To be honest you should have just said with two "H"s. You made it awkward. Come on NSYNC. Get on board.
(Ke) And what does 98 Degrees have to say about all this?
(Kr) Nobody consulted 98 Degrees or even remembers they existed.
(Ke) I am racking my brain and literally can't think of one 98 Degrees song. Did they exist?
(Kr) I can see the video. They're on a bridge. Or near a bridge. Or singing about a bridge.
(Ke) Did they jump off the bridge? Now all I can think about is Ellen K saying "Dees Grees" when giving the weather on the Rick Dees show.
(Kr) UGH. You jerk. Now that's in my head. I hope they next person you come in contact with is a JoHnathan. And he keeps signing things just to annoy you.
(Ke) I wouldn't let that happen. Ever. I can sniff them out. I guess I have acid reflux now. Yay!
(Kr) You're a mess. I'm going to watching NKOTBSB on loop until I fade away into a slumber filled with sweet, sweet Jordan Knight Dreams.
(Ke) And the dogs and Joe are creating a symphony or snores. These are the makings of a sleepless night.
(Kr) Time to get your own place.
(Ke) My phone's going to die. I'm pretty sure this conversation will kill it. I just found a tiny suicide note.
(Kr) Did it text it to you?
(Ke) Don't steal my impending joke. That shit pisses me off.
(Kr) Did it die?
(Ke) I saved it. I'm kind of a hero.
(Kr) Well, put your cape on and go to bed. Oh, you said hero. Not superhero. I don't know what plain heroes wear.
(Ke) The only pair of jeans that still fit. Every day.
(Kr) Seven months pregnant and you can still fit into jeans and you're complaining. Life is so rough, skinny pregnant lady.
(Ke) Am I an asshole?
(Kr) No. Just very ungrateful for not being a fat, sloppy, pregnant woman. Asshole is strong. Selfish jerk is more appropriate. I don't fit into jeans from last year and guess what? No baby.
(Ke) Move over Johnathan. Make room for me on the ashamed bus.
(Kr) You're the driver.
(Ke) Ok. I get it. Jeesh.
(Kr) I go night night now.
(Ke) Me, too, if the guilt doesn't keep me awake. Nah, I'm good.
(Kr) You should stay up all night and think about your actions.
(Ke) Love you, Kreets.
(Kr) Love you, selfish jean wearing pregnant lady.
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