Out Of Remote Control

(Kr)  So, I guess we're watching "Cops".

(Ke)  Oh no.

(Kr)  I'm too tired to change it.

(Ke)  That's really tired.

(Kr)  With just a twist of lazy.  I'm pretty convinced that's how anyone ends up watching it.

Stop Pand(a)ering

(Kr)  I had a dream that we were on a road trip and we stopped at this weird ice cream place.  These angry hairy guys who didn't really speak English worked there.  They were annoyed we were ordering anything.  There was this neon orange soft-serve in cones in the display case, but I ordered the white.  You know how I love my vanilla.  It looked delicious and creamy as all get out, but it tasted odd.  I got really nauseous.  After I ate it, I noticed a sign on the wall with all the flavors on it.  The white was panda flavored.  Panda flavored!!  PS I ate a lot of onion before I went to bed.

(Ke)  This is a bizarre enough dream, but the texts came out of order.  6:35 a.m. is too early to be reading about panda ice cream.  Give me at least until 8 a.m.

(Kr)  My dreams have no curfew.

Face Value

(Ke)  Facebook stock is doing really well for us.

(Kr)  I sense sarcasm.

(Ke)  Wow.  I'm a good texter.

Clean Sweep Redux

(Kr) The housekeeper is definitely wearing my flip flops.  Again.

(Ke)  What the hell?

(Kr)  It's tradition, I guess.

(Ke)  Is she wearing socks?

(Kr)  Yes.  Could be worse.  You know, underwear wise.

Floored

(Kr)  The carpet cleaners came yesterday.  They told Marc "Wow, it got dirty fast."

(Ke)  Honestly in the carpet cleaning world.  How refreshing.

(Kr)  Well, Marc did ask for his opinion. (He didn't)  Then they had a laugh and a beer.  (They didn't)

(Ke)  Sounds comfortable (it doesn't).

Stone Cold (Sore) Awesome

(Kr)  I'm not saying this to invoke any level of jealousy, but I've had a pretty sweet cold sore for going on a week now.  Which is weird timing  due to the fact that I've had nary a social occasion this week to showcase it.  It's as if my face has forgotten the appropriate times to make me look worse.

(Ke)  I guess I better cancel that surprise party tonight which was, ironically, to celebrate a cold sore free month.

(Kr)  What if you changed it to a one-month-with-a-cold-sore party?  I think this sucker can make it a full thirty days.  And will this be a formal affair?  My cold sore has a sassy strapless number in mind.

(Ke)  It's running the show, so you tell me.  Oh, the excitement is contagious!

Pun In The Sun

(Kr) If Marc and I would have disappeared on our cruise, this would be the picture Dateline would have used. The episode would be called "Bon Voyage?" or "Love Boat".



(Ke) I think it would be called "Deception at Sea Level".

(Kr) Nice to see you're on board.

(Ke) We're in the same boat.

(Kr) It's getting a lido out of control.

Mary Kay Calling

(Ke)  Bronx's swim instructor is reeeeeeealllllly young.  He goes to community college.

(Kr)  The hotty?

(Ke)  Yes.

(Kr)  Guess we're pervs.  I'm fine with that.

(Ke)  I probably taught him.

(Kr)  They make Lifetime movies about people like you.

(Ke)  That's a selling point.

Clean Sweep

(Kr)  We had somebody clean our house today.  We have her come once a month.  So, she's cleaning away, right, and I look down and she's wearing Marc's flip flops.

(Ke)  Oh my god. What the hell?

(Kr)  It was unexpected, to be sure.

(Ke)  That is hilarious.

(Kr)  It was that and so much more.

3D BB Zolly 2

(Kr)  Hi, Zolly!  I love you so much

(Ke)  Isn't she a babe?

3D BB Zolly

(Ke)  Going to get the 3D ultrasound soon.

(Kr)  Oh gosh!  What time??

(Ke)  Right now. 

(Kr)  Show me!  Is she super beautiful?  Not that I won't love her if she isn't.  I'll just love her more if she is.  

(Ke)  She is.  We got some great shots.  

(Kr)  Send them!!

(Ke)  We are driving.  

(Kr)  Both of you?!?  Stop keeping me from my niece!!